Sometimes it only takes a quote to turn things around

I really don't have a lot to say today.  It's going to be a CRAZY week between everyday life, doctor appointments, events with my tween & teen, exercise classes, writing.  Throw in a bikini wax along the way, and the week is booked solid.  However, I saw a quote yesterday that made so much sense to me, and I want to share it with you.

"When you don't give up, you can't fail."

I love this. I simply love it.  No matter how hectic things seem, don't give up.  Do the best you can that day.  Period.  Don't give up, and realize there is no such thing as "perfect".  If you keep going, it will benefit your health, your family, your life.  If you don't give up, you can't fail.

Do you have a favorite quote that helps get you through this journey?  If so, I would love to hear it.  Leave it for all of us to read in a comment below.

Happy 10 year goal weight anniversary to me - I'm getting stronger!

I saw this little guy on Facebook this morning.  The image speaks volumes.

What doesn't kill you makes you __________.  How would you finish that sentence?  Think about it for a second, or minute, or even a day if need be.

12 or so years ago, my reply would have been something along the lines of "defeated", "sad", "miserable", "exhausted", "resentful", "guilty", "embarrassed".

A few years ago, the answer would have been "angry", "bitter", "irritated". 

In the past year or two, I can honestly say "stronger".  What doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER.  I feel so strong compared to how I felt when I first started this journey.  [I am literally shaking and in tears as I type this.  I had no idea how STRONGly I felt about the topic until just now.  Pun fully intended.]

So, happy goal weight anniversary to me!!!  10 years.  I still remember the day I started this journey (nearly 11 1/2 years ago).  I remember it like it was yesterday....yet it seems like forever ago.  Almost like the day belongs to another person.  In a way, it does.

I've learned a lot along the weigh.  I've learned that this journey has really very little to do with what the scale says.  I am more than a number.  Blah, blah, blah.  We hear that all the time, right?  "You're more than a number....".  Guess what?  It's true.  I get it now.  It has taken 10 years of dealing with a lifetime of "fat damage" to realize exactly what that means.

At this point in time, I am healthier than I have ever been.  This is a progressive journey of good health.  Funny, isn't it?  Because all I wanted to do when I got started was wear size 6 jeans.  In my mind, 6 sounded better than 18, which was the size I was sporting around.  Actually, I ended up having to buy a 20 just before signing up for Weight Watchers.  Having to buy those 20s made me cry.  I wanted to wear pants that didn't make me cry.  I wanted the scale to tell me a magic number that didn't make me cry.  I wanted to look in the mirror and not cry upon seeing my own reflection.  I wasn't thinking of bettering my health or being a good roll model for my kids.  I just didn't want to cry anymore.  I was all cried out.

Little did I know, there would be more tears flooding my path from time to time.  Sometimes, they are honestly tears of sadness.  That's life!  They are never as desperate & hopeless as the tears I used to shed, but still sad.  At times, I have really struggled with this journey. There are things that make it easier, but shitty days are just.....shitty days.  I eventually learned to pick myself up and dust myself off.  Starting over is part of the journey.  In a way, everyday is a new start.  It's an ever evolving process, and you must learn to roll with the punches.  The good times out weigh the bad most of the time.  It's difficult to remember that when you're smack dab in the middle of a pity party, but it's true.  During those good times, the tears are tears of joy.  Or shock.  Or bliss.  Or pure excitement.  Like the tears in this picture....

Yep, I was crying in that picture.  Some of it was due to the pain I had been enduring for the past 13.1 miles, but mostly they were tears of bliss, excitement, joy, and shock!  This one was taken at the finish line of the Vancouver USA Half Marathon last year, and I could hear my husband screaming my name from the sidelines.  When I looked up, my eyes went directly to him.  In a sea of people, I found him instantly.  He was beaming ear to ear and pointing to his watch letting me know my finish time was way better than predicted or expected.  I was giving him a fist pump & a big "YESSSS" all at the same time.  It's my very favorite picture ever.  When I die, I want that picture shown at my funeral.  I like it THAT much.  That's how I want people to remember me.  I mean, I don't want them to remember me crying, stinky & sweaty, or having bloody/missing toenails at the time.  I want them to remember that I tried my best.  I gave it all I had.  I didn't quit even though I wanted to (on more than one occasion).  During that race, there were times I had to slow down & take a little break, but I kept moving forward even when I thought I was going to die. When I look back at the past 11 1/2 years since starting this journey, the entire time frame looks like this picture.  That's exactly what the big picture looks like.  Start.  Then, finish what you start.  Start over when you must.  Keep moving along.  Cry when and if needed.  Finish strong.

After losing 20+ pounds.

In my case, what doesn't kill you does make you stronger.  And by you, I mean me.  I am certainly stronger, in so many ways, compared to 11 1/2 years ago when I decided to change my life.  (Side Note:  See the picture to your left for proof of all my jibber jabber.  That is what I looked like 11 1/2 years ago.  You might not see it through my sheepish smile, but I was crying on the inside.  NO, I wasn't pregnant.  NO, I had not had a baby recently.  That belly was just.....alllllll me.  Letting it all hang out for the picture.  I finally felt brave enough to take such a picture.  To let my husband see it - like he didn't know already.  Keep in mind, this was before the days of every household having a digital camera.  I actually had to take the film in to be developed, and felt humiliated when I had to go pick them up at Costco.  I just knew the staff had all been passing them around.  Laughing.  Now I'm glad I took the pictures, but I wasn't so sure about my actions back then!)  I can look back now and see that I'm even stronger than when I made it to my goal weight 10 years ago.  Why do I keep mentioning 11 1/2 years ago if I'm celebrating a 10 year anniversary?  I wouldn't be celebrating today if I hadn't decided to start this journey so long ago.  To me, they're now one in the same.

Anyway, I'm going to finish this happy anniversary blog post by dedicating something to the old me.  I'm slightly obsessed with the new Kelly Clarkson song, Stronger.  Have you heard it?  (If you haven't, you must.  The video link is listed below.)  I've had it on my ipod since it was released a couple of months ago.  I love for it to come on when I'm feeling completely spent during a long run.  There's really nothing better than hearing it at mile 11.  That's usually the time I feel like curling up into a ball & crying!  So it's great for running, but I can't help but think the lyrics were written for the old me.  The "before" Heather.  So, Old Heather, this ones for you....

Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

You know the bed feels warmer,

Sleeping here alone,

You know I dream in color,

And do the things I want.

You think you got the best of me

Think you had the last laugh

Bet you think that everything good is gone.

Think you left me broken down

Think that I'd come running back

Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

You heard that I was starting over with someone new,

They told you I was moving on, over you

You didn't think that I'd come back, 
I'd come back swinging

You try to break me but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

stand a little taller

doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause your gone.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started

Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted

Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me

You know in the end the day I left was just my beginning..... in the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

Wow, if Old Heather only knew back then what she knows now, perhaps she wouldn't have cried so many tears.  No more feeling "defeated", "sad", "miserable", "exhausted", "resentful", "guilty", "embarrassed", "angry", "bitter", "irritated".  Just stronger.

Where are you within your journey?  You can tell by the way you fill in the blank.  What doesn't kill you makes you __________.  Hopefully, the word you use is stronger (or something similar and/or positive).  If not, then it's time to take a step forward.  

Planning ahead....chopped peppers for the freezer

I ended up with 10 cups of yellow and 14 cups of red when it was all said and done.  I cook from scratch a lot.  Actually, everything is 100% homemade these days (most boxed/prepared foods contain gluten).  Anyway, buying veggies when I see them on sale for super price saves me money, but MAN the time put into these little peppers make me question my actions.  I'm not going to complain.  I have peppers in the freezer.  That's all that matters.

I need to find a new way to freeze stuff.  I'm trying diligently to not use plastic baggies.  I have some awesome beeswax coated paper bags, foil, and BPA free containers for the fridge, but no good solution for freezing.  If you know of a good way to freeze this type of stuff (as compact as possible)...please let me know.