I ran like a princess (the good, the bad, and the ugly half marathon wrap up)

I completed my first half marathon.  I ran every step of the way.  Every knee stabbingly painful, diarrhea driven step.   I've been a bit hesitant to blab about it here on the blog due to my clear disappointment in the outcome.  However, so many people have sent emails asking how it went...I feel the need to fess up.

I had two goals set going into this race: 

#1) to cross the finish line without walking a single step 

#2) to finish within 2 hours 30 minutes

THE GOOD:

I ran every step!!!!!  13.1 miles of running.  Holy moly!  Mission accomplished for half of my goal. 

THE BAD:

Do we really need to chat about how long it took me to run this event?  The time makes my heart go to a deep, dark place.  I've been in a funk about my finish time since the day of the event.  My Garmin Forerunner clocked me at 2:29:26.  (YAY...sort of.)  But wait, there's more....  

THE UGLY:

My Garmin, the little GPS watch thingy I wear while I run, stops tracking when I stop moving.  It only clocks my time spent running.  Not stopping to tie a shoe, or fix my pony tail, or use the restroom 4 times.  So time spent in the honey bucket along the way was counted against me according to official Disney race time.  (Remember the explosive diarrhea I spoke of above???? I spent a LOT of time in the portable toilets. 18 minutes to be exact.  Thank God for baby wipes in a ziplock bag!)  Stopping would have counted against me during any timed event...not just a Disney event, but it's still disappointing to see my official time rolling in at 2:47:59.  It was more than disappointing if you want to know the truth.   

I'm grasping to find the positive in this.  I realize the positive is very clear & obvious, but my brain cannot get in sync with it just yet.  I'm trying to focus on the fact that I *ran* the race in the time I set for my goal....even if the official finishing time does not reflect my hard work.  I'm having a really difficult time hearing everyone say, "BUT YOU FINISHED!".  I don't care!  I'm not to a point where I can feel proud of that quite yet.  I know I'll get there.  I can say it (mainly to make everyone else shut up), but I really don't FEEL it yet.  I know myself well enough to see that for now, this feeling of disappointment is a launching pad to my next goal.  You know what I mean?  Ever been there throughout this journey of better health?  You know it's time to make a move, but you're not sure which way you'll go or where you'll end up?  I feel as though I've been at a crossroads all week with my thoughts, and it's time to either a) ditch all my hard work and training or b) learn a lesson from it & move forward.  I'm choosing to move forward.

Now I'm in search of a bright, shiny new exercise goal.  My physical therapist has put a halt on all exercise for a full week.  I NEED a week off.  I'm READY for a week off.  My knee is pretty jacked up at this point.  He really does not want me to do any of the spring events (Mini Heart 15k or Flying Pig Half Marathon) I planned on running & have already paid for.  Sigh.  I'm willing to take a break from training if it means I can run summer and fall events.  I don't know about you, but the Rock 'N Roll half marathon in Vegas December 5th sounds like good fun to me!  :)

PS....if you wear a tiara around Disney World, everyone is EXTRA nice to you.  Opening doors, offering to take extra pictures of you with your group, referring to you as "Your Royal Highness" or "Princess".  Talk about fabulous.  A very intoxicated woman walking outside the bar (with wine in hand) at our resort asked us if wearing a tiara is a new fad or something because so many women were wearing them this weekend.  We just laughed and walked off.  Rock on, drunk lady!  You will forever be remembered.

PSS...don't carry a water bottle in the same backpack as your digital camera or you'll have a dripping wet camera & no pictures to share with your bloggy buddies upon returning home from a once in a lifetime event.  Enough said.